Good day all. It’s been a while since our last Criminal of the Week, and I’ve found a beauty. Our winner also managed to win the Darwin Award as well, since children are no longer in his future.
This criminal mastermind obviously never took a gun safety course, or ever heard of this wonderful invention called “The Holster.” Here are the details of his complete lack of competence in anything from Fox News:
A bungling felon from Washington state made a series of blunders when he shot himself in the testicles and tried to hide the weapon — all while storing drugs in his anus, a report said Wednesday.
Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a pistol in his front pocket while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment on April 5 when the firearm accidentally discharged and pierced his groin and thigh, according to the Wenatchee World News.
I’m still trying to figure out how no nuts managed to do this. All I can think of is this pistol didn’t have an external safety, or he hadn’t set it and managed to pull the trigger in some way. Oh, by the way, his genius level planning didn’t stop with this.
When the ex-con finally went to the hospital, a balloon of marijuana slipped out of his anus while a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, court records show.
This prize winning idiot apparently thought that he should get rid of the gun, since he really wasn’t supposed to have it.
Wilson, who is a 13-time convicted felon, told his girlfriend to dispose of the weapon before heading to the hospital, the paper said.
Because, of course, no doctor anywhere would recognize a gunshot wound.
Cops also arrived at the hospital when alerted of the gunshot wound and searched Wilson’s car where they discovered a bag of meth in the blood-stained jeans he was wearing when he shot himself.
So El Stupido not only forgot to crap out the balloon full of pot, he didn’t bother getting rid of the meth he had in his pants? Did he shoot himself in the brain as well as the balls?
The officers issued an arrest warrant for Wilson and he turned himself in to police on April 18.
He probably couldn’t run with the bullethole in his leg, and thought it might help if he “Did the right thing and turned himself in” when he throws himself on the mercy of the court. However, as we all know, stupidity knows no bounds as amply demonstrated by this walking advertisement for retroactive abortion for eugenics purposes.
As he was being processed at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center, Wilson was strip-searched and another balloon of marijuana slipped from his anus, the paper said.
Wilson continued demonstrating his brilliance when he called his girlfriend. (Who, let’s be honest, is probably dumber then Wilson is)
While in jail, Wilson made a number of calls to his girlfriend and asked her not to cooperate with investigators working on his case. Authorities were listening in on the calls.
The convicted felon was charged with possession of a firearm, unlawful possession of meth, possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility, and four counts of tampering with a witness.
And I have no doubt that his girlfriend will be happy to provide conjugal visits and be there when he gets out in 15 or so years. No, actually I don’t. I have no doubt that if she isn’t charged with anything, she’s going to move on to the next dumb as a stump criminal. Congratulations to Cameron Wilson, our Stupid Criminal of the Week.
Thatisall
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