Good day all. Usually, I will post a story regarding a complete idiot who commits a crime and either gets caught or killed in an incredibly stupid manner. I call this the Stupid Criminal of the week. However, once in a while, I find one who manages to be stupid for the entire month.
In this case, we have one Valiery Portlock of New York. What to this criminal mastermind do? Rob a bank? Hold up a liquor store? Try to make a getaway in an Uber car? No, this moron was impersonating a police officer, and he managed to pull over a van loaded with actual police detectives. Here are the details from Fox News:
A New York man was arrested on Friday after he allegedly tried to pull over a van while pretending to be a police officer except there was reportedly one problem: the van was filled with detectives.
Valiery Portlock, 25, turned on emergency lights and sounded an airhorn in Hicksville, a city on Long Island roughly 30 miles east of New York City, on a roadway Friday morning as he tried to pull over a van, investigators said.
That van was full of detectives from the Nassau County Police Department’s electronics squad, according to News 12 Long Island.
Brilliance, sheer brilliance! As you would expect, the real police had real badges and credentials and they showed them to this moron. What did he do once he realized who he had pulled over?
As detectives identified themselves, Portlock allegedly tried to flee the scene. Authorities claim he drove away, swerved into oncoming traffic and eventually sped to the Long Island Expressway, where he was stopped by the highway patrol.
I would love to hear that radio call from the van full of police officers to their dispatcher. It must have taken several minutes for them to stop laughing and be able to communicate in a coherent manner. As for Doofus Dumbass?
Portlock was arrested without incident and charged with criminal impersonation, reckless endangerment and fleeing the police. He was released from custody on his own recognizance following an arraignment on Saturday.
Obviously, there are a lot of details missing from this report. However, I suspect that Mr. Moron is going to be spending a few quiet months in the local jail, unless they find something else and put him into one of the main state prisons. I wonder if they will give him an achievement award for being the dumbest criminal of the month? I have.
Thatisall
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