Now this is the how to teach a class!

Yes, this is a post about an award winning instructor. At least he should get an award. What did this instructor do that was so great? He blew up his own students.

Now I can see all of you going “Whaaat???” I should be a bit more informative. In this case, the instructor was teaching a class in “How to be a suicide bomber” and was demonstrating how to set off a suicide bomb vest. Here are the amusing details from the New York Times:

A group of Sunni militants attending a suicide bombing training class at a camp north of Baghdad were killed on Monday when their commander unwittingly conducted a demonstration with a belt that was packed with explosives, army and police officials said.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Twenty-two ISIS members were killed, and 15 were wounded, in the explosion at the camp, which is in a farming area in the northeastern province of Samara, according to the police and army officials. Stores of other explosive devices and heavy weapons were also kept there, the officials said.

*giggle* *snort* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Excuse me, but it is amusing. Somehow, I can’t see the instructors who taught the Japanese Kamikaze pilots who to crash their planes into ships accidentally taking out one of their own cruisers. Iraqi government sources have released a photo of the classroom.

The militant who was conducting the training was not identified by name, but he was described by an Iraqi Army officer as a prolific recruiter who was “able to kill the bad guys for once.”

I can just see it now.

“Mohammad, go into the back room and get me the vest on the table. Mohammad goes into the back room and sees a table with several vests in various states of assembly. He picks on up that appears to be complete. Since Mohammad can’t read, he doesn’t pay any attention to the sign saying “Danger! Live explosives!”

“Very good Mohammad, Allah be praised. Put it on the table for me. Attention class. In order to kill all the infidels, first you must put on the vest. Achmed, please come here and assist me. Now, first you put the vest on. Please proceed Achmed. Very good. Now button the vest up. That’s right Achmed, just like that. Now, insert the blasting cap into the explosive. Now don’t worry, this is not real explosive. This is just a training vest we have that has clay in place of the explosives. It does weigh the same so you can get used to the weight.”

“Now at this point in your mission, you must calmly walk into the crowd. Go ahead Achmed. Walk into the middle of the other students. No Achmed, don’t rush in like you are pursuing a goat. Walk in calmly as if you are looking for a new infidel Iphone. Excellent Achmed, Allah be praised! Now in the right hand pocket of the vest you will find a button on a wire. Remove the button and hold it in your hand. No Achmed, you are holding it upside down. You want your thumb on the button. That is correct. Now, Achmed we are going to practice pushing the button. Repeat after me and then push down hard on that button, Allah be praised. Are you ready? Good. Now, when you are ready, shout “Allah Akbar!” and then push the button. Any time Achmed, we don’t have all day.”

Achmed looks around at all the students, all watching his every move. He takes the button and shouts “ALLAH AKBAR and pushes the button.

The instructor picked himself up, walks over to the remains of Mohammad and kicks him in the head! “You FOOL! Can’t you read?”

The answer to that question my dear instructor would be, “Apparently not.” Therefore, I would like to nominate this instructor for the prestigious Darwin Award for removing a large number of idiots from the gene pool without injuring innocent bystanders.

No Nuts definitely deserves it. (I would have said numbnuts, but they were blown off in the explosion and eaten by a wandering goat) Meanwhile, Achmed is now touring with Jeff Dunham and is known all over the world as “Achmed, the Dead Terrorist.” His tag line is “SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!”

Thatisall

A little update. Emperor Misha I has read about Achmed’s transition to the Comedy channel and deemed it good.

~The Angry Webmaster~

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